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My take on all of this is that fertiles have no capacity to understand how difficult infertility is. Some of them manage to deal with infertiles with aplomb, whereas others muck it up royally.

Though it's not fair, I view it as a guilt by association situation with pregnant fertiles. Though I may love and adore you, if you're a pregnant fertile, I will be resentful and jealous. How could I not be? However, it's much more acceptable when infertiles get pregnant because I am acutely aware of what they've gone through to get to that point. That is not to say that I never got a bit jealous of pregnant infertiles, but as I've gone into great length about this on my blog I'll leave it at that.

Final note - the reason infertiles, pregnant or not, help maintain your sanity is that they will never tell you to "Just relax".


Hey, yesterday was my Dan's bday, too. How funny. And yeah, the fertiles will never get it. It must be nice to be so innocent.


You should seriously just relax. That's how I got pregnant! Oh wait... no... it was IVF and a fuckpot of money ;)
I agree with Pru... most fertiles just have no clue. So by default, unless they are well informed (by a swift kick in the ass) they say stupid shit. I haven't ever felt the green horned monster of envy when another infertile got pregnant, but then again, I got lucky the first IVF. I may feel different if I had done it a million times or had a history of loss. i never felt jealous... but i will say that more than once i wished it was me. Is that the same thing? who knows.
I do have an infertile friend that seems to be more irritated when infertiles get pregnant than fertiles. Now, that I really don't get at all. But, I think it's just her.

And even though i have found the holy grail and am currently pregnant, I still have serious pangs of jealousy when someone says "we only had sex twice and now i'm pregnant!" or some such crap. Cause I'll never ever ever know what that is like. Ever.


You know what gets me the most about the recent rash of pregnant infertiles? I'm afraid the cash cow will fizzle and I will be one of the many who an ART cycle DIDN'T work for. It seems to be the topic in so many blogs lately, I know it just can't continue...


Korin, I don't really understand your friend who is more jealous of infertiles. I feel like we are all a team...the "special olympics" of fertility. I just want everyone on my "team" to reach that finish line, however slow and hobbly they get there. But, maybe she feels abandoned by her "team" when they get pregnant. I know there was a time when I was just starting out in this online community where I had mixed feelings about possibly getting pregnant right away...like I was betraying the rest. I have SOO gotten over that!

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