talk amongst yourselves

Today is surgery day and after the single busiest week in my career, all I can say I feel is glad to get a forced vacation. And I am hungry. So hungry.

I got a voice mail message from my anesthesiologist yesterday. It went like this (imagine a voice eerily similar to Jeff Spicoli's):

"Uh, this is Dr. O. I'm an anesthesiologist at ____ Hospital. Well, I'll talk to ya tomorrow." Okay. Not much information conveyed in that call. But friendly, I guess. And a little anesthetized.

So, in order to distract myself from this growing hunger I cannot satisfy, I would like to start a little discussion. Yesterday some coworkers and I somehow got on the subject of how we learned about sex. I love this story, because it helps you see how my mind works. When I was a child someone could say something to me and I would take it so literally that if it didn't make sense in my limited experience, I would spend an unreasonable amount of time racking my brain trying to figure it out. If only Google had existed when I was little.

So is the case with sex. When I was in first grade, a "big girl" from the third grade used to follow me around the playground and try to mother me. She was unbelievably annoying and now that I teach emotionally disturbed children, I realize she probably was grooming me. Creepy. Anyway, one day she had her choke hold on me and said, "I know how babies are made. The man gets on top of the woman and puts his penis inside of her vagina" That was it. All the information she gave me. And although lacking in creativity, I realize now, it WAS accurate. But, it was literally YEARS, probably around the time my youngest sister was born when I was in 5th grade and my mom bought some books for us, that I finally figured out the answer to the riddle that had been weighing down my brain since that moment. I just COULD NOT figure out HOW he got that thing down there from his perch ON TOP of the woman. Because, of course, the picture ingrained in my head was my dad sitting on top of my mom's shoulders. I also had some very serious concerns about the safety of this position for my mother. I thought about that a lot. It was such a relief to find out the truth.

So, today's discussion question is: How did you find out about sex? And the follow up, especially for all the infertiles and those going through ART: How are you going to tell your children that they were made?

Comments

[DD]

2nd question first: I will tell any child I have through successful ART that they were made with love. That's it.

Where did I learn about sex? From romance novels, of all things, which considering in the 80's the raciest they ever got was heavy petting before the man married the woman, who was a virgin on the wedding nite. Ha! Whatever!

You never said, what would you tell your child if born of ART?

[korin]

I found out about sex from the Time/Life books when I was five.... my mom was pregnant, and she told me everything. I was fascinated. :)

I'll tell my kids they were made with lots of love, and I'll tell them about the science t oo. as my friend Johanna says, ART is just a different way of making love.

[Cat]

Good Luck!

Found out about sex way to early from a creepy babysitter. Sad but true.

Will tell my kid er... um... uhhh... well we might wait for the details awhile until they can grasp ovulation induction and blood thinners. Until then we will probably say you are a modern scientific miracle made by mom and dad and a team of really great doctors. True and not so sad.

[Joie]

Good point, DD. I am all about giving as much information as a kid can handle. So, when they are really little it might be something like "We wanted you soooo much, we asked some nice doctors helped us make you at the doctor's office". That would probably satisfy a 3 or 4 yr. old. As they get older, I will answer their questions, as they come up, as truthfully as possible. Kids let you know how much information they need.