What the fuck?

There are so many things wrong with the world today.

1. I spent my entire lunch break trying to find a signal on my cell phone so I could make a long distance call to ask the bank why we have never, in 15 months, ever gotten a mortgage statement despite making payments via automatic deduction like clockwork. I did not get to eat. This diet is really working!
2. Today there were two emails from Netflix. One was telling me that the movie I returned last Monday was received and I will get the next one on my list next TUESDAY!?! The other said that the movie Dan returned yesterday will be replaced TOMORROW!! What did I do to offend you, Netflix? I have done nothing but love you. I have turned many many friends your way with my gushing and bragging. Why, Netflix, why??
3. Not only did that bitch Katie Holmes steal my name in Dawson's Creek, but now she DARES to carry the spawn of that freak before I get pregnant?! Oh, but she'll get hers....Wait until she finds out about the Scientology philosophy on childbirth: Completely without pain reduction medication and, GET THIS, silent! Yeah, right! As you all know, I've never given birth, but I know enough to know it hurts. A lot. How are you supposed to get through that without making a little noise?
4. I have cramps.
5. What's with my students? Did all the parents conspire to withhold their meds today? Just CALM DOWN!! And BE QUIET!! For God's sake! The bookcase is NOT a jungle gym!
6. While my class was playing monkeys in the jungle, I had to excuse myself for a phone call. From the hospital where I will be getting my laparoscopy in five weeks. I'm not sure why, but I thought it would be at the clinic. I guess I thought of a laparoscopy was the "down there" version of getting your wisdom teeth out. Not fun, inconvenient, but relatively risk free. Hmm..guess not. When I had my wisdom teeth out no one asked me questions that had words like "advanced directive" and "next of kin" and "religious preference" in them. The last time I was in that particular hospital was at my grandma's deathbed ten years ago.

Comments

[cat]

God damn girl... what a week. Hoping you have the long weekend to recoup.

Perhaps they were asking you so many questions at the hospital because you are having general anesthesia? Just a thought.

Grrrr... Tom Cruise... grrr Katie Holmes and her virgin pregnancy. They will probably have to gag her to keep her quiet. Scientologists are nutters.