Today was a day of bad news.
I took a HPT today because I couldn't BEAR to find out over the phone after my blood test. But honestly, with the cramps I woke up to, it was no surprise that the results were negative. I told everyone this would be my last cycle of trying for a while. Who am I kidding? How can I not? The "discussion" appointment for IVF is already set. It will be 25 minutes after Dan's parents fly out of Portland in two weeks. The Friday before the last weekend before I go back to work. I am so depressed at the thought. Going through all this while trying to teach again. Last minute appointments. Trying to get subs. Evading all the questions. Pictures of the three babies born over the summer. I get tired thinking about it. At least I'll be getting a paycheck.
Truth is, when I look at the statistics: 10% rate of pregnancy with clomid/IUI, 15% with the injections/IUI why did we even bother? We should have just done IVF from the start. I might be wearing maternity clothes right now if we had. I mean I went through all that personality change shit with clomid for a 10% chance!!?!
(edited to remove more sucky bad stuff related to my job-believe me it was a stinky pile of poo, you'll just have to take my word for it).
I'm sorry. :( I was hoping i'd check your blog today, and see some good news for a change. Fucking universe.
You know.. there was a time, that I thought about skipping the last 3 IUIs and going straight to IVF.. but when you actually LOOK at the cost... it's not so bad to try an IUI or two.
Again, I'm so sorry. At least I'll be one page ahead of you in the book, and can tell you how fun it is. haha. not.
Posted by: korin | August 08, 2005 at 07:35 PM
I'm glad you decided not to give up!...and...also happy that you have a "plan". The best outcomes are derived from a well thought out plan..and...I truly believe this plan is the right choice/decision for you and yours!....I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!...This is a test you will pass!!..and a baby will be the ultimate reward!..hang in there...and...charge forth with the IVF!!!..YOU CAN DO IT!
Posted by: Niki Cossaart | August 08, 2005 at 11:17 PM
I'm sorry about the negative result. I hope that IVF goes well for you. I'm starting my 3rd cycle in 3 weeks. Not looking forward to it and all the upheaval to my life, but if it works it will be worth it. I hope.
Posted by: Susan / holdingpattern | August 15, 2005 at 01:47 PM
poo
Posted by: | January 28, 2006 at 10:28 PM
( . Y . )
Posted by: Me my-self and ur mom | January 28, 2006 at 10:32 PM
ya'll need to go suck p00 on a stick
Posted by: | January 28, 2006 at 10:33 PM
( . ) ( . )
MAJOR CLEAVAGE
Posted by: | January 28, 2006 at 10:35 PM